Growth Through Self-Reflection

What is Self-Reflection?

Self-reflection is a process of introspection, focusing on one’s internal experiences. This, in turn, can  lead to a heightened state of self-awareness by uncovering underlying motivations for our behaviors, emotional triggers, and decision-making patterns. Does “self” refer to these motivations? Before we dive deeper, let’s ponder on a few ways to consider what “self” means. The concept of “self” is a multifaceted and complex subject that has been explored across various disciplines, including psychology, philosophy, and neuroscience. Each discipline offers unique perspectives on what constitutes the “self”. Here’s an overview of how “self” is viewed from different angles, looking at psychological, philosophical, neuroscientific, sociological, cultural, and developmental perspectives.

Different Perspectives on Self-Reflection

Psychological

Psychologists often examine the “self” through constructs such as self-concept, self-esteem, and self-identity. Self-concept is the collection of beliefs one holds about oneself, including attributes, behaviors, and roles. Humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers, introduced the idea of the “ideal self” versus the “real self.” He believed that cognitive dissonance, when a person experiences stress because they are holding onto two beliefs or values that are conflicting. Cognitive dissonance can also show up when a persons’ beliefs, ideas, or values are challenged by new information. To be grounded, Carl Rodgers suggested that one reduces cognitive dissonance, and this will in turn promotes a sense of authenticity and self-actualization. For example, say you want to become sober because you want to feel like your decision-making is muddied by consuming alcohol.. However, you continue to use daily to reduce stress by not dealing with situations, and continue to be surrounded by like-minded people who regularly drink. You may even meet with a psychotherapist who, instead of confronting your drinking  lets you know that they don’t think you are an alcoholic or have a problem.  this situation, a person is more likely to continue drinking and not succeed in achieving a sense of authenticity or self-actualization.

Philosophical

Philosophy looks at the self through existential and phenomenological lenses, questioning the nature of consciousness and self-awareness. René Descartes famously coined “Cogito, ergo sum” (I think, therefore I am), suggesting that the act of thinking is proof of one’s existence and essence. Contemporary philosophers continue to debate the self’s nature, discussing concepts like identity, free will, and the mind-body problem.

Neuroscientific

Neuroscience approaches the self by focusing on the brain mechanisms underlying self-awareness and self-recognition. Research in this field often focuses on areas like the default mode network, which is active during self-referential thought processes. Antonio Damasio’s somatic marker hypothesis proposes that emotional processes guide (or bias) behavior and decision-making – the connection between bodily sensations and the sense of self.

Cultural

From a cultural perspective, the self is perceived and expressed differently, depending on the cultural context. We can very broadly break cultures down into two categories: individualist, or collectivist.  In individualistic societies, the self is often seen as autonomous and independent, while in collectivistic cultures, the self is more likely to be defined in relation to others, emphasizing interdependence and community ties.

Developmental

Developmental psychologists, such as Erik Erikson, have studied  how the sense of self evolves over a person’s lifespan, outlining stages of identity formation and crisis. Jean Piaget’s stages of cognitive development also touch upon the growing complexity of a child’s self-concept as they mature.

Knowing Thyself Can Benefit Our Mental Health

From very briefly exploring these ways of interpreting “self”, we can see that there is not a clear definition. When working with patients in my practice, I recognize that it is important to acknowledge the different ways in which a person views themselves, especially through a cultural lens.These are, of course only a few examples of different perspectives. Can you think of any others? How do you define “self”? 

Even though “self” has many interpretations, whatever it means to you, practicing self reflection can have several benefits, aside from an increased self-awareness, which we touched on earlier. Let’s explore some of these benefits below.  

 

  • Emotional Intelligence: The ability to identify and understand one’s own emotions can greatly improve the relationship not just with yourself, but with others as well. When we have a greater emotional intelligence, this often allows us to better put ourselves in others shoes and practice empathy. This can lead to better communication. 
  • Stress Management: Elaborating on the point above – if we understand ourselves, we are better able to our emotions, then we are better able to have coping skills ready to help. I’m not suggesting that one uses coping mechanisms to smother their emotions. Rather, I believe that coping strategies can be helpful during times we may need to put our emotions aside – such as during a presentation at work or when being in the presence of high-conflict individuals. 
  • Informed Decision-Making: When we know ourselves, we know our values, which helps us make choices in-line with our long-term goals in life. This may sometimes mean that the self that we were raised with changes over time. For example, you may be brought up within a specific culture and religion, but realize this no longer fits into your values. If this is not addressed, it can lead to cognitive dissonance, which we touched on earlier. In psychotherapy, I have noticed that this is a common occurrence, and it can be difficult to navigate, which we’ll discuss next. 

Step-by-Step Example of Approaching Change Through Self-Reflection

Self-identity  naturally evolves over time. This evolution, often a sign of growth, can sometimes create inner turmoil or cognitive dissonance, especially when there are shifts in significant aspects of our identity, such as religious beliefs, career paths, or personal values. Let’s use the example of  someone who has identified strongly with their career but begins to feel that this path no longer aligns with their core values or lifestyle. This discrepancy between their current identity (a career-oriented individual) and their evolving sense of self (seeking a more balanced life) can lead to cognitive dissonance. Self-reflection can help close the gap of cognitive dissonance, regardless of the specific situation.

 

Here are some steps you can take:

 

  • Step 1: Acknowledge – Begin by acknowledging the feelings of discomfort or conflict. Recognizing that something feels “off” is the first step toward addressing cognitive dissonance.
  • Step 2: Reflection – Take some time to reflect on the specific parts of your identity that are being considered.. Ask yourself questions like, “What values do I feel are no longer being honored in my current path?” or “What parts of my new interests or beliefs resonate with me more deeply?”
  • Step 3: Evaluation – Examine the sources of your current identity. Consider the influences (e.g., family, culture, personal experiences) that shaped your beliefs and behaviors. Understanding these influences can clarify why certain aspects of your identity feel out of order.
  • Step 4: Visualization – Or for those of us with aphantasia, imagine your future self with the changes you would like to see. Visualization/imagination can be a helpful tool for closing the gap between your current and desired states of being.
  • Step 5: Small Changes in Habits – Identify small, actionable steps you can take. You probably won’t change overnight, but making small adjustments can gradually reduce cognitive dissonance and realign your sense of self with your values and goals.
  • Step 6: Support – Discuss your thoughts and feelings with trusted friends, family, or a professional. The perspective of others can offer support, validation, and alternative viewpoints that enrich your self-reflection process.
  • Step 7: Maintenance: Regularly reassess your feelings and how they match your actions and values. Self-reflection is an ongoing process.
  • Step 8: Acceptance and Compassion: Change can be challenging, and being kind to yourself throughout the process is essential.

 

 

Parting Words & Counseling in Michigan

This guide can be helpful in addressing changes in self-identity through self-reflection. A psychotherapist can also help people with the process of self-reflection, breaking it into smaller steps so it is easier to manage challenges. Helping guide patients through this process is very rewarding and one of my specialties. If you are in the state of Michigan and looking for a counselor nearby, checkout my website below to  schedule a free video consultation. I can work with anyone located in Michigan through video counseling, and for those who prefer in-person counseling, I am in metro Detroit, specifically an office in Farmington Hills, Michigan. 


Please note that this article focuses on evolving self-identity in the context of personal growth, which is different from clinical identity disturbances seen in conditions like Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). These identity disturbances include deeper issues with self-image and require professional intervention. For severe or persistent identity concerns, please seek professional support from your healthcare provider.

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